I faked an abortion last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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