When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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