Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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