I don't usually arrange sex via text message
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
