ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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