Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
