So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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