oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Porn is love you can see.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
