I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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