My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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