He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
