what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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