we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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