i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
