No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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