this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
