Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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