also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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