that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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