so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
