just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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