I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
