I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
