Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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