I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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