i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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