Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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