Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
