people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Success! We fucked roommates!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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