He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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