Duck Duck Cougar?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
