Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
