which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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