Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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