oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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