Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
