you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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