i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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