I think scott just propositioned me for sex
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Rumble strips road head = magical
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
