yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
