I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
