I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This is the high leading the old right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
