after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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