They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
