the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
