Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
