Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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