i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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