You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
