if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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