I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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