Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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